tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73649572017927831582024-02-14T08:32:34.432-08:00Witter...Setting the world to rights since 2010Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-38343199988015977952024-01-19T06:20:00.000-08:002024-01-19T06:20:41.651-08:00Sauce for the Goose part 6 - Man UpAfter the death-toll on young men, I'd say the biggest way in which things are worse for men is masculinity itself. I know some people, men and women, really like it but for those of us that don't fit the mould it's a punishing master. Square peg - round hole - big hammerThis chapter will be something of a recapitulation of things I've said previously but they deserve repeating. The first Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-75741709943790438172024-01-02T09:46:00.000-08:002024-01-02T16:33:35.533-08:00Sauce for the Goose part 5 - It's Different For GirlsI got called an 'Incel' the other day for the outrageous crime of disagreeing with a woman. The post was about a female celeb being criticised for her appearance and I said something about men being criticised all the time and "Do you want equality or not?" I said nothing at all about whether I could get sex or not.This is the third item in my list of Things That Are Better for Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-84734254111428665982023-12-22T05:38:00.000-08:002023-12-23T05:49:36.849-08:00Sauce for the Goose part 4 - Lived ExperienceThe starting point for a lot of this writing was the feeling I've always had that women are not less powerful than men. There was a time before the 1960s when women had far fewer rights than men of course, but I've never really known it like that. In my life the women and girls always seemed stronger and in many ways better than the men and boys. I come from quite a poor working class background Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-44153503755228973892023-12-16T08:23:00.000-08:002024-01-02T09:47:08.419-08:00Sauce for the Goose part 3 - Dress CodesBeing more likely to die young and not being allowed to talk about your feelings or ask for help certainly seem to me like major issues. The fact that these things are simply a given in our culture and we accept them mostly without question (and indeed ridicule anyone who brings them up as major issues) tells me this is systematic discrimination. I'm not sure anyone is consciously oppressing men Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-39219094704038183352023-12-15T06:29:00.000-08:002024-01-02T16:35:16.970-08:00Sauce for the Goose part 2 - Early deathIt seems like a lot of people have a real problem with the idea that some things are better for women now than for men. It's unthinkable, ridiculous, not even worth considering. A friend on here a while back told me there's nothing men suffer from 'simply because they are men' and at the time I went quiet because, like everyone else I know, I've been educated to believe that life is worse for Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-41175391933729040472023-12-15T06:12:00.000-08:002023-12-22T06:06:02.039-08:00Sauce for the Goose part 1 - Women's Rights vs. EqualityI've been feeling for quite some time now that feminism has been going a bit off track. It's gone from women saying "Why can't we have the same rights as men?" (which nobody I know has a problem with) to "Why can't men be the way women want them to be?" Don't get me wrong - I am still very much the egalitarian - I believe in equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunities and so on, for Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-78706725576595921242019-03-16T05:18:00.000-07:002019-03-16T05:23:15.034-07:00"Muslim invaders"
Thinking about the phrase "Muslim invaders"
last night after listening to coverage of the NZ shootings. Trying to think of
any part of the world that Muslims have invaded lately. Can't think of any.
Maybe some bits of Sub-Saharan Africa? Not sure.
I can think of Muslim countries we Westerners have
invaded - Iraq and Afghanistan most obviously. Then there's the attempted
eradication of Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-88369090011979064502017-12-29T11:15:00.001-08:002018-01-02T09:10:54.625-08:00Crap Feminism
Ok - I confess - I am beginning to have problems with feminism. Not the pro women's rights and equality, anti-patriarchal, anti-male abuse type of feminism. I'm still totally on board with all that. It's more a kind of quasi-intellectual feminoid orthodoxy that's getting to me, and many women too. It's just too precious and inward looking and it makes women look weak. I suspect it's just a smallSteve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-10265276297076339402017-07-24T01:23:00.001-07:002023-12-22T06:01:27.635-08:00Self-help for sceptics
Yesterday I began to try to explain to a good friend what I meant by using science to sort myself out. I didn't get far. It's not hard to explain but it's not something I can encapsulate in a few sentences drinking coffee outside a cafe in Shoreham. This isn't helped by the fact that most people don't really know how science works. They maybe remember what they learned at school about repeatableSteve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-23355065627781034032017-01-12T11:01:00.001-08:002023-12-22T06:01:34.544-08:00Clean and Tidy
I've thought a great deal about this and have come to the conclusion that there are basically two good practical reasons for cleaning and tidying - making it so the place is reasonably hygienic and people don't get ill too often on the one hand, and on the other, so we can find things reasonably easily and not trip over stuff all the time. The rest is aesthetics, and as such, is purely a Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-48297311994415208512016-04-05T03:24:00.000-07:002016-04-05T03:38:31.903-07:00Procrastination is not about Laziness. It's about Fear
I've been largely unemployed again since my last job, working for
Miss Green as a gardener, came to an end last May. She died quite suddenly but
not completely unexpectedly - she was 96, but had been my excellent, feisty,
but supportive and respectful employer for 10 years - more or less the same
period I'd been with my ex and living in her house in Henfield. It was the most
settled period of Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-62550095471567379042015-10-07T05:09:00.002-07:002015-10-07T09:55:07.396-07:00Just Do It!
I had to take my car into the mechanic's yesterday to have the driver's side window repaired. For whatever reason the electric window opening mechanism turned into a glass grinding mechanism. I went along to see my mate (I'll call him Leo) after dropping the car off (he lives along the road from the mechanic) and he drove me home and has offered to come and pick me up when the car is ready. He Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-34904932472630492312015-09-30T12:06:00.001-07:002015-10-26T06:02:37.545-07:00Date Burn
They say "Just be yourself". People have told me that all my life. Well, no, since I left home they've told me that. Before that my family, teachers etc were very clear that ideally I should try to avoid being myself as much as possible. But later, mixing with people who were a bit more free-thinking - post '60s people, people who smoked a little weed, liked Hendricks and The Doors, people who Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-13317405985248524182015-08-25T09:51:00.000-07:002015-08-28T03:43:36.762-07:00Carpe la Femme
This seems to have been my year for falling out with people. First and not least there was my wife back last autumn, which I have been through, at length here. Then there the bust-up with my erstwhile friend and sole reader, which I also described here back in March. There was another erstwhile friend I unfriended on FB a little while back. He probably doesn't know why - just thinks I'm throwingSteve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-36448814920962728162015-08-14T13:49:00.002-07:002015-08-17T12:07:52.361-07:00Sits-vac and Thinks of England
These last few weeks have been a bit more trying than I'd like. Brought back a lot of nonsense from before. Two old gremlins have come a-knocking - work and women. I shouldn't have thought I was 'cured' I suppose but on the other hand, these are problems I was not having to face this time last year so, on the positive side, maybe it's time to apply something of what I learned then to the new Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-45846781775605914182015-07-17T09:02:00.001-07:002015-07-20T02:30:58.839-07:00The Everthere
This time last year my wife was selling up the family home and preparing to move to Canada. I don't have the exact date to hand but one day last summer I was installed in this flat so she'd have a place to come home to, as and when. I'm still here but we're separated and I hope to never see her again. What a strange year.
I've been wanting to write something about it for a while. I don't seemSteve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-79318112590592613192015-03-16T10:14:00.002-07:002015-03-20T03:52:19.140-07:00Popular Culture?
A friend recently took it upon himself to trash my novel. It was very strange at the time because it seemed completely out of character (unless he is suffering from some sort of dementia or bipolar disorder, in which case I am truly sorry) because he's normally such a mild-mannered chap, polite and decent and suddenly there was this... I'm not sure what to call it - tirade? I sent him a copy of Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-81648701012566158812014-12-12T09:13:00.002-08:002015-03-02T10:43:10.406-08:00This Time it's Personal ~ epilogue
A great deal has happened over the last few months. The most striking thing is that for the first time for as long as I can remember I have stopped going over things in my mind, trying to get straight how my life has been and how I've come to be this way (as described in the previous 20 instalments of This Time it's Personal). Quite suddenly it seems I have nothing more to add. Perhaps this is Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-33755221464396909552014-11-24T06:06:00.001-08:002014-11-24T06:18:10.484-08:00For Argument's Sake
I recently made the mistake of going back on Facebook - principally to keep in touch with my wife, Emma, who has moved to Canada to be a midwife, while I'm still here in the UK. I know - sounds nuts - more on that another time maybe. Last time I was on FB I got into trouble with the conspiracy guys. A friend of mine who had hitherto seemed a perfectly pleasant though slightly kooky guy suddenly Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-67792767019025386232014-09-20T06:41:00.000-07:002014-09-22T02:36:15.373-07:00This Time it's Personal ~ part 20
'What would be the point of an apology?' you may ask. It won't change anything. Does an apology ever help? And yet I can't think of another situation where somebody has done something wrong where an apology would not be expected. I don't see why parents and children should be different, and children are expected to apologise for what they do regularly. I apologised to Emma's kids a few times Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-91363570434864703982014-09-19T06:08:00.000-07:002014-09-19T06:08:16.952-07:00This Time it's Personal ~ part 19
So - nearly done here. I've been mulling over this entry because I want to tie up all the loose ends as much as possible - not have to slink back and add things later.
The first thing that has to arise is the question - why me? Lots of people experience less than great parenting and manage to hold down a job, a social life and generally function in the world. Most teenagers rebel. Most people Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-48093022341766277782014-09-14T05:04:00.004-07:002014-09-14T07:25:08.161-07:00This Time it's Personal ~ part 18
These are not straight-forward questions to put answers to for one simple reason - rebellion. What has confused my thinking most over the years has been untangling all the feed-back loops and self-fulfilling prophesies that coil out whenever I try to work out what's going on.
Whenever we're trying to work out how a child is influenced by its parents we have to accept that it might simply take Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-5276770020746141922014-09-13T01:37:00.000-07:002014-09-13T03:18:06.249-07:00This Time it's Personal ~ part 17
I think most people I know now would echo Vincent's advice that 'there is no need to judge ourselves by anyone else's standards, let alone "official targets"' (comments ~ part 15) It's something we've come to live by, especially since the sixties - to be yourself - not worry what anybody else thinks or says. Authenticity, naturalness, truth to one's self. We admire the creative, the original, Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-33096675321679794262014-09-08T04:38:00.002-07:002014-09-08T04:46:24.633-07:00This Time it's Personal ~ part 16
Not feeling too well today so forgive me if I'm less coherent than usual.
Where was I?
(What? Oh it's just some inner ear thing - a bit dizzy and queasy. I'm on the mend now, thanks for asking.)
Today I just have a couple of small items to clear up before I begin to draw the whole thing together (the end is in sight)
Firstly, as I mentioned I do have various odd health issues - nothing huge, Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7364957201792783158.post-13047778296510140092014-09-04T10:24:00.001-07:002014-09-07T04:04:03.569-07:00This Time it's Personal ~ part 15
This time I want to talk about friends.
Since Emma left for Canada I've been pleased to discover how many I seem to have. I still find it hard to believe. I don't really trust anyone - or rather - I'm perhaps too trusting when I'm actually with making friends but always ready for things to turn sour somehow, as I described last time in connection with 'the workplace'. Sometimes I just think Steve Lawhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04939837731535127700noreply@blogger.com3